again, by L'Engle

People in Glass Houses

I build my house of shining glass
of crystal
prisms
light, clear,delicate.
The wind blows
Sets my rooms to singing.
The sun's bright rays
are not held back
but pour
their radiance through the rooms
in sparkles of delight.

And what, you ask, of rain
that leaves blurred muddy streaks
across translucent purity?
What, you ask,
of the throwers of stones?

Glass shatters,
breaks,
sharp fragments pierce my flesh,
darken with blood.
The wind tinkles brittle splinters
of shivered crystal.
The stones crash through.

But never mind.
My house
My lovely shining
fragile broken house
is filled with flowers
and founded on a rock.

by Madeleine L'Engle

Lines Scribbled on an Envelope While Riding the 104 Broadway Bus:

There is too much pain
I cannot understand
I cannot pray

I cannot pray for all the little ones with bellies bloated by starvation in India;
for all the angry Africans striving to be separate in a world struggling for wholeness;
for all the young Chinese men and women taugh that hatred and killing are good and compassion evil;
or even all the frightened people in my own city looking for truth in pot or acid.

Here I am
and the ugly man with beery breath beside me reminds me that it is not my prayers that waken your concern, my Lord;
my prayers, my intercessions are not to ask for your love
for all your lost and lonely ones,
your sick and sinning souls,
but mine, my love, my acceptance of your love.
Your love for the woman sticking her umbrella and her expensive parcels into my ribs and snarling, "Why don't you watch where you're going?"
Your love for the long-haired, gum-chewing boy who shoves the old lady aside to grab a seat,
Your love for me, too, too tired to look with love,too tired to look at Love, at you, in every person on the bus.
Expand my love, Lord, so I can help to bear the pain,
help your love move my love into the tired prostitute with false eyelashes and bunioned feet,
the corrupt policeman with his hand open for graft,
the addict, the derelict, the woman in the mink coat and discontented mouth,
the high school girl with heavy books and frightened eyes.

Help me through these scandalous particulars
to understand
your love.

Help me to pray.

so here's a little nugg....

people are totally okay with the fact that pastors and preachers get up on stage, seemingly with nothing to say, and a word from the Lord flows out of them.

if we are the royal priesthood, then WHY is it weird for words from the Lord to flow out of us? this is NOT RIGHT.

let the Lord speak through you. and listen when He's speaking through someone else. you'll be able to tell.

"no i don't wanna battle from beginning to end, i don't wanna cycle or recycle revenge, i don't wanna follow death and all of his friends."

what a flippin awesome song. i want to shout this out every morning.

Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So one hundred worshippers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become 'unity' conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship. Social religion is perfected when private religion is purified. The body becomes stronger as its members become healthier. The whole church of God gains when the members that compose it begin to seek a better and a higher life.

-A.W. Tozer

procrastinating by pouring my soul

people talk about their pet peeves.  like for instance, my roommates hate dirty dishes.  (sorry guys, i know i tend to be a horrible roommate in that aspect)  all of the things i would call my "pet peeves" are emotional or mental.  

most of all, i hate it when amazing people lack confidence and are insecure.  it makes me want to slap them.  especially Christians.  when you have the Creator of the universe speaking your identity, how can you not be confident in that?  

i realized a few things today.  some are important.  some aren't.  

1.  i have an enormous passion for adoption.  so much so that i may never birth my own children.

2.  i want to name one of my kids after a Little Women character.  i love that book.

3.  i'm okay with having uneventful days.  they're peaceful.  

4.  apparently i exude peace.  which is sort of appropriate.  it's the emotion i would most like to exude.  

5.  i will never take another 8:00 as long as i live.  i promise.

6.  i love finishing one journal and starting another.  it's a blank slate.  literally.

7.  laura oglesby is awesome.  

8.  seeing friends like Charron and Wesley in the library brings me joy!

that's all.  just a few things.