one of my goals for 2010 was to read fifty books within the year. we're about nineteen weeks in and i'm only on number thirteen. whelp. but here's what i've read so far this year:
1. Bird by Bird - Anne Lamott
2. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Jonathan Safran Foer
3. The Help - Kathryn Stockett
4. A Circle of Quiet - Madeleine L'Engle
5. Beauty - Robin McKinley
6. A Live Coal in the Sea - Madeleine L'Engle
7. The Soloist - Steve Lopez
8. Everything is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer
9. The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Neifenegger
10. The Other Side of the Sun - Madeleine L'Engle
11. Two-Part Invention - Madeleine L'Engle
12. Leaves of Grass - Walt Whitman
i have also read a book for a class that's not a textbook...if the count gets down to the wire by december, The Toyota Way by Jeffrey Liker may weasel its way on to the list.
number thirteen is The Bicycle Diaries by David Byrne. well, that and My Life in France by Julia Child. and Man Walks Into a Room by Nicole Krauss. i tend to read more than one thing at a time. so sue me. maybe that's why i'm not getting through my list as fast as i could be. because if you added up all the parts of those books that i have read, it would probably be an extra book and a half. oh well.
hopefully i'll read a lot this summer. hmmmm or maybe i'll just go read now instead of studying for my two exams that are on thursday. how bad could they be, right? i've gotten this far through college without studying, why not finish strong?
(some recommendations/reviews from the above list. first off, i'm going to recommend anything by madeleine. she's my absolute hands-down favorite author of all time. bird by bird is really great if you're interested in becoming a writer or an artist in general. she has a really beautiful outlook on life. jonathan safran foer rocks my life, in a post-modern way. usually i'm not a fan of postmodernism (in literature, at least) but foer attacks convention in a way that brings out the beauty in non-convention, not just the ugly in convention. if that makes any sense whatsoever. all that to say, please go out and read extremely loud and incredibly close. the help was really cute. a very easy read. and not all mushy and fake like most popular reading books. beat the system! "beauty" was verrrrrry silly. but an easy read. pretty romantic/mushy. not usually my jam. the soloist was so, so, so good. if you like music, journalism, or the topics of homelessness and mental disease, you will love this book. i promise. seriously. check it. the time traveler's wife was pretty silly/mushy, but in a very hipster way. the cultural references were, i think, my favorite thing about the book. i also like her clean writing style. and leaves of grass is a classic. if you like poetry, cities, love, woods, beaches, or war you will probably gain something from reading it.)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
...i'm very proud of my accomplishments...
this is something i've been tracking since freshman year. and i'm extremely proud.
i'm a fast test-taker. if i don't know something, i just pick an answer and don't deliberate. and if i know something, i know it.
here are my fastest test-taking times in college and the classes they correspond to:
1. 8 minutes - Sport Management
2. 11 minutes - Organizational Behavior
3. 12 minutes - Sport Management
4. 16 minutes - Finance 306
5. 18 minutes - Organizational Behavior
my lean operations exam tomorrow is going to be easy-peasy. maybe i can beat a record? hmmmmm.
i'm a fast test-taker. if i don't know something, i just pick an answer and don't deliberate. and if i know something, i know it.
here are my fastest test-taking times in college and the classes they correspond to:
1. 8 minutes - Sport Management
2. 11 minutes - Organizational Behavior
3. 12 minutes - Sport Management
4. 16 minutes - Finance 306
5. 18 minutes - Organizational Behavior
my lean operations exam tomorrow is going to be easy-peasy. maybe i can beat a record? hmmmmm.
Monday, April 26, 2010
suddenly everything has changed
somehow in the past two or three months i have evolved from a morning person to a night owl. all my life, i have been a bed-at-eleven/up-at-seven girl. all of a sudden, i find myself eating dinner at ten and trudging upstairs at three-thirty or later. how did this happen? and sleeping until nine and ten in the morning! how completely foreign that is to me. and it cannot continue this summer, because i'm probably going to have to be at work at least as early as seven-thirty every morning. i'm not going to lie, i'm pretty excited.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
"frolic on, crested and scallop edg'd waves!"
this morning started with a solo dance party in the living room.
then dcf. wonderful. absolutely. no, seriously. go read acts 12:1-19. "if you live in fear, you will not live in peace." "fear is a choice." "death is not the final answer." "when we share our stories, fear decreases and faith increases." and then the music! dcf worship rocks my heart. that junk about fear is just what i needed to hear. i'm one hundred percent going to move somewhere far away in the fall. hopefully shelbs gets into csu.
then i came home and ate plain noodles and drank black coffee on the porch with kathleen. i love eating on the porch. and just sitting on the porch, really. i'm pretty sure my neighbors think i'm crazy.
after lunch, i went upstairs to tackle packing. four hours and a lot of dancing later, i'm totally ready to load up my car. crazy!
then somehow the bare floor (that no one has seen since before spring break) was calling my name. so i laid down and cracked open "leaves of grass." walt whitman was totally insane. and super in-tune with his sexual side. whoa. but he had so many beautiful things to say. example:
"Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose."
(from "Song of the Open Road")
and
"O to realize space!
The plenteousness of all, that there are no bounds,
To emerge and be of the sky, of the sun and moon and flying clouds, as one with them."
(from "A Song of Joys")
as it usually does, experiencing the work of a master inspires creativity in myself, so i wrote this terrible poem about how empty our room feels:
laying, face up in an empty room.
they've taken their belongings and left me here.
songs of love and rebellion fill the air,
hot from the open window.
and in this moment, i am good.
oh! if walls could talk.
but my question is this:
when all the things are gone,
will the memories leave too?
whelp. not too good. and super cliche. oh well. at least i don't have delusions of grandeur in regards to my art. i just do it because i can't not. (double negative...i know...i'm just not sure how else to say it.)
after my little creativity session and a couple more cups of coffee, i was lulled to sleep by the musical stylings of the weepies and the freelance whales and took the best three-song nap ever. i was awoken by a really upbeat and oddly loud song by two door cinema club. i texted lark to see when she was coming home when i got a strange urge to go watch the sunset at the dikes. i was heading out the door when lark texted me back, saying she was actually in clemson, but had gone to the dikes to watch the sunset. it's strange how alike we are sometimes. so i went out and read some more whitman.
and now i'm back with the music back on, waiting for emily and caitlin to come over so we can drink margaritas on the front steps. why, i'm not exactly sure. but do it we shall.
then dcf. wonderful. absolutely. no, seriously. go read acts 12:1-19. "if you live in fear, you will not live in peace." "fear is a choice." "death is not the final answer." "when we share our stories, fear decreases and faith increases." and then the music! dcf worship rocks my heart. that junk about fear is just what i needed to hear. i'm one hundred percent going to move somewhere far away in the fall. hopefully shelbs gets into csu.
then i came home and ate plain noodles and drank black coffee on the porch with kathleen. i love eating on the porch. and just sitting on the porch, really. i'm pretty sure my neighbors think i'm crazy.
after lunch, i went upstairs to tackle packing. four hours and a lot of dancing later, i'm totally ready to load up my car. crazy!
then somehow the bare floor (that no one has seen since before spring break) was calling my name. so i laid down and cracked open "leaves of grass." walt whitman was totally insane. and super in-tune with his sexual side. whoa. but he had so many beautiful things to say. example:
"Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose."
(from "Song of the Open Road")
and
"O to realize space!
The plenteousness of all, that there are no bounds,
To emerge and be of the sky, of the sun and moon and flying clouds, as one with them."
(from "A Song of Joys")
as it usually does, experiencing the work of a master inspires creativity in myself, so i wrote this terrible poem about how empty our room feels:
laying, face up in an empty room.
they've taken their belongings and left me here.
songs of love and rebellion fill the air,
hot from the open window.
and in this moment, i am good.
oh! if walls could talk.
but my question is this:
when all the things are gone,
will the memories leave too?
whelp. not too good. and super cliche. oh well. at least i don't have delusions of grandeur in regards to my art. i just do it because i can't not. (double negative...i know...i'm just not sure how else to say it.)
after my little creativity session and a couple more cups of coffee, i was lulled to sleep by the musical stylings of the weepies and the freelance whales and took the best three-song nap ever. i was awoken by a really upbeat and oddly loud song by two door cinema club. i texted lark to see when she was coming home when i got a strange urge to go watch the sunset at the dikes. i was heading out the door when lark texted me back, saying she was actually in clemson, but had gone to the dikes to watch the sunset. it's strange how alike we are sometimes. so i went out and read some more whitman.
and now i'm back with the music back on, waiting for emily and caitlin to come over so we can drink margaritas on the front steps. why, i'm not exactly sure. but do it we shall.
a few excerpts from "two-part invention" by madeleine l'engle
first off, anyone who is married, is getting married, wants to get married, or know someone who might someday want to be married to another human being should read this book.
"I am grateful that Hugh [her husband] and I didn't meet until we had both learned at least a little more about other people and about ourselves than we knew during those early years of painful growth."
"...anyone who could love so vocally, who found it so necessary to reiterate out loud the depths of his passion, might not, in reality, be very deep."
"...what connects us human beings is far more central than that which separates us..."
"Perhaps the most dehumanizing thing of all is that we have allowed the media to call us consumers - ugly. No! I don't want to be a consumer. Anger consumes. Forest fires consume. Cancer consumes."
"I don't think I would love a man who never dared to do anything crazy."
"It is a terrible choice: the purifying fire of the creator or the deathly cold fire of Satan."
"...the more people I love, the more vulnerable I am."
"I am grateful that Hugh [her husband] and I didn't meet until we had both learned at least a little more about other people and about ourselves than we knew during those early years of painful growth."
"...anyone who could love so vocally, who found it so necessary to reiterate out loud the depths of his passion, might not, in reality, be very deep."
"...what connects us human beings is far more central than that which separates us..."
"Perhaps the most dehumanizing thing of all is that we have allowed the media to call us consumers - ugly. No! I don't want to be a consumer. Anger consumes. Forest fires consume. Cancer consumes."
"I don't think I would love a man who never dared to do anything crazy."
"It is a terrible choice: the purifying fire of the creator or the deathly cold fire of Satan."
"...the more people I love, the more vulnerable I am."
Thursday, April 22, 2010
requiem for a dream-like-experience, part V
i'm starting to feel like i'm writing in a yearbook. this is not goodbye. i promise. just a way to tell all of you how much i love and appreciate going through college with you.
the boys. you guys are definitely in the minority in my friend group. so you have a blog all to yourselves.
PJ Mancuso: the first time i met you was the "night of everything." rollercoaster road, the haunted school house, palms, waffle house. you and taylor met! what a wonderful night! you are such a great friend. i'm so happy for you and taylor both. i remember when the three of us had comm 150 together during summer session and just laughing a lot. that was back when you were sleeping on their couch at the ridge. what a fun time. lost discussions, hp discussions, talks about theology and life. you're just awesome and i can't wait to see you and tay's life together. (and i can't wait to be aunt jordan to what i KNOW will be you guys' precious children!)
Ming Lee: i can't imagine anyone more perfect for jenny. from sushi to lost to zaxby's after radius, i'm so glad you came into all of our lives.
Ray Hobbs: just one year of knowing you wasn't enough! i remember one night at 356 i had a cold and asked if it would be a bad idea to drink a beer when i had just taken some kind of medicine. you assured me i'd be fine. well let-me-tell-you. i was not fine. i'm not sure if you actually knew that. or why i'm saying it here. whelp. you definitely made my junior year better than it would have been had you not been around. i'm especially fond of that random time that you got a ride with me to columbia. i'm just really glad to know you!
Ryan Heard: what an encouraging voice you are. i never really knew you that well until we took religion with cohen. what a great time to chat about all things God and life. it's been so great to look down onto the stage at fca and see you anchoring the rhythm of the Lord's songs. what a blessing.
Jamie Williams: jamie-bro. when i think of you during freshman year, i think of you pop-lock-and-dropping it with carlye in the parking lot behind byrnes. loved our chats through soccer games this fall with chan. you're a great guy and it's so great to know you.
Ben Lanz: i'm so glad you kept pursuing claire and bringing her ice cream even though you met on facebook because now you're getting married! i'm so glad to know you. thank you so much for all your help with the "manly" stuff around the apartment! what a blessing!
Blair Clarkson: awww buddy. i miss you over there in europe! you were such a huge part of my life toward the end of college. i'm so thankful for you!
and finally....
Joey Evans: words just cannot express how much your friendship means to me. i don't know what to say. mostly because you know it all anyways. thanks for putting up with my neurotic girl mess. thanks for leaving your friends at waffle house to come talk to me when i was upset. thanks for your eternal willingness to help me even when it's not convenient. i remember our g-chat conversations all summer when you were in fort collins. man, that summer was a little rough, but we both made it through! i cannot WAIT to see what life has for you, from law school to saving the world! you're the best. i mean it.
the boys. you guys are definitely in the minority in my friend group. so you have a blog all to yourselves.
PJ Mancuso: the first time i met you was the "night of everything." rollercoaster road, the haunted school house, palms, waffle house. you and taylor met! what a wonderful night! you are such a great friend. i'm so happy for you and taylor both. i remember when the three of us had comm 150 together during summer session and just laughing a lot. that was back when you were sleeping on their couch at the ridge. what a fun time. lost discussions, hp discussions, talks about theology and life. you're just awesome and i can't wait to see you and tay's life together. (and i can't wait to be aunt jordan to what i KNOW will be you guys' precious children!)
Ming Lee: i can't imagine anyone more perfect for jenny. from sushi to lost to zaxby's after radius, i'm so glad you came into all of our lives.
Ray Hobbs: just one year of knowing you wasn't enough! i remember one night at 356 i had a cold and asked if it would be a bad idea to drink a beer when i had just taken some kind of medicine. you assured me i'd be fine. well let-me-tell-you. i was not fine. i'm not sure if you actually knew that. or why i'm saying it here. whelp. you definitely made my junior year better than it would have been had you not been around. i'm especially fond of that random time that you got a ride with me to columbia. i'm just really glad to know you!
Ryan Heard: what an encouraging voice you are. i never really knew you that well until we took religion with cohen. what a great time to chat about all things God and life. it's been so great to look down onto the stage at fca and see you anchoring the rhythm of the Lord's songs. what a blessing.
Jamie Williams: jamie-bro. when i think of you during freshman year, i think of you pop-lock-and-dropping it with carlye in the parking lot behind byrnes. loved our chats through soccer games this fall with chan. you're a great guy and it's so great to know you.
Ben Lanz: i'm so glad you kept pursuing claire and bringing her ice cream even though you met on facebook because now you're getting married! i'm so glad to know you. thank you so much for all your help with the "manly" stuff around the apartment! what a blessing!
Blair Clarkson: awww buddy. i miss you over there in europe! you were such a huge part of my life toward the end of college. i'm so thankful for you!
and finally....
Joey Evans: words just cannot express how much your friendship means to me. i don't know what to say. mostly because you know it all anyways. thanks for putting up with my neurotic girl mess. thanks for leaving your friends at waffle house to come talk to me when i was upset. thanks for your eternal willingness to help me even when it's not convenient. i remember our g-chat conversations all summer when you were in fort collins. man, that summer was a little rough, but we both made it through! i cannot WAIT to see what life has for you, from law school to saving the world! you're the best. i mean it.
requiem for a dream-like-experience, part IV
to my house church people: i love you all dearly with the powerful love that comes only from Jesus.
Anna Copeland, Caleb Carter, Austin Alvarez, Nichole Johnson, Jonathan Lassiter, John Longshore, Michael Longshore, Jessica Reis, Wesley Kapp, Josh Carroll, the Robinsons, and many other brothers and sisters: you guys are so absolutely important to me. to have such a close community of people to point you at all times to the Lord. what an amazing blessing. from spontaneous worship to st. louis, from austin's basement to Andy and Jenn's. you guys know what's up. what an amazing thing it is to know you guys and know your heart for the Lord. you encourage my heart in ways you don't even know. i love you all so, so much.
Anna Copeland, Caleb Carter, Austin Alvarez, Nichole Johnson, Jonathan Lassiter, John Longshore, Michael Longshore, Jessica Reis, Wesley Kapp, Josh Carroll, the Robinsons, and many other brothers and sisters: you guys are so absolutely important to me. to have such a close community of people to point you at all times to the Lord. what an amazing blessing. from spontaneous worship to st. louis, from austin's basement to Andy and Jenn's. you guys know what's up. what an amazing thing it is to know you guys and know your heart for the Lord. you encourage my heart in ways you don't even know. i love you all so, so much.
requiem for a dream-like-experience, part III
the TTV crew. i only lived with ya'll for one semester, but you guys welcomed me in with open arms. i'm so grateful!
Katie Keenan and Ashley Smith: you guys were such fantastic roommates! my favorite time was when we made chicken kabobs and moved the kitchen table out onto the front porch and ate there and drank my last illegal drink before i turned 21. what a beautiful night. thank you girls so much for being so great.
Megan, Travis (yeah, you go in this category), Charron, Stephanie, Ashley, and anyone else i'm forgetting: i have such fond memories with you all. having a sleepover through that snowstorm. taking religion with the "heartless ginge," watching lost when ya'll came back from fuse. you guys made that semester great. thanks.
Katie Keenan and Ashley Smith: you guys were such fantastic roommates! my favorite time was when we made chicken kabobs and moved the kitchen table out onto the front porch and ate there and drank my last illegal drink before i turned 21. what a beautiful night. thank you girls so much for being so great.
Megan, Travis (yeah, you go in this category), Charron, Stephanie, Ashley, and anyone else i'm forgetting: i have such fond memories with you all. having a sleepover through that snowstorm. taking religion with the "heartless ginge," watching lost when ya'll came back from fuse. you guys made that semester great. thanks.
requiem for a dream-like-experience, part II
to all my other girls. i'm so glad that God brought us together.
Chandler Carver: chauncey. i am so glad we're friends. obviously, the majority of memories stem from spring break. walking fifteen feet in front of you at all times. dragging you through the met with a look of wonder in my eyes as you were probably bored out of your mind. you dragging me to the big green or whatever that boston stadium is called. then the other times. trivia, 356 sushi nights, photo shoots, skipping class to go to atami's sophomore year. your amazing ability to interpret my text messages. rapping along with jay-z. when you're a big-time sports woman, you better introduce me to rafa nadal. you'll have the connections, i know it.
Kristan Alewine: kristan, i just can't tell you how much i appreciate you in my life. you and your amazing neck massages and head scratches. "public." defying gravity at the top of our lungs. taking thousands of pictures on spring break. some interesting late-night text messages. your encouragement helped get me through this year. thank you.
Sarah Comer: you just don't know how much i love you. it's so, so much. i'm incredibly thankful for the summer of sarah, when we hung out those first few times. i was so intimidated by your beauty. driving to stumphouse and standing in the waterfall with laura, going to pray on campus at 7am, being so sad when your internship moved you back to north augusta. i'm so glad we became friends. you are just the most beautiful spirit. can't wait for our "wedding date."
Caitlin O'Neill: big deal. what a baller at life you are. and an acc champion also. i'm so glad we got to bond in the car the whole way to tampa. i need to learn some of your cooking skills.
Shelby Salley: sleeeeepy shelbs. i think i met you less than a year ago. but can i just tell you how cool i think you are? a baller mountain woman. let's move to foco in the fall, okay? we'll go get tattoos, too...once you figure out what you want.
Emily Armes: you do what you want without worrying about anyone else's opinion. i love that about you. this summer in charleston, the bike gang, commandeering tall ships, making meals out of seemingly nothing. i'm so thankful to have you in my life. it's so cliche, but you've always been there for me, and i'm deeply grateful.
Jenny Conard: you got engaged last night! okay that's not really a memory...yet. but it will be! hey i'm so glad i've gotten to live with you for the past three years. staying up late and watching friends after everyone else had gone to bed. letting me cry on your shoulder. lifting me up in prayer. a woman after my own heart. a lover of beauty. thanks for introducing me to madeleine. bless you for putting up with my attitude!
Claire Campbell: as i type this, you're cleaning up the living room from jenny's engagement party. what a servant's heart. it's been such a blessing to be able to live with you. three weeks until you're married. i can't wait to see what you and ben do together for the Lord.
Laura Vollmer: it's been so good to become friends with you in the past couple of years. you have such a gentle spirit and i love that about you.
Chandler Carver: chauncey. i am so glad we're friends. obviously, the majority of memories stem from spring break. walking fifteen feet in front of you at all times. dragging you through the met with a look of wonder in my eyes as you were probably bored out of your mind. you dragging me to the big green or whatever that boston stadium is called. then the other times. trivia, 356 sushi nights, photo shoots, skipping class to go to atami's sophomore year. your amazing ability to interpret my text messages. rapping along with jay-z. when you're a big-time sports woman, you better introduce me to rafa nadal. you'll have the connections, i know it.
Kristan Alewine: kristan, i just can't tell you how much i appreciate you in my life. you and your amazing neck massages and head scratches. "public." defying gravity at the top of our lungs. taking thousands of pictures on spring break. some interesting late-night text messages. your encouragement helped get me through this year. thank you.
Sarah Comer: you just don't know how much i love you. it's so, so much. i'm incredibly thankful for the summer of sarah, when we hung out those first few times. i was so intimidated by your beauty. driving to stumphouse and standing in the waterfall with laura, going to pray on campus at 7am, being so sad when your internship moved you back to north augusta. i'm so glad we became friends. you are just the most beautiful spirit. can't wait for our "wedding date."
Caitlin O'Neill: big deal. what a baller at life you are. and an acc champion also. i'm so glad we got to bond in the car the whole way to tampa. i need to learn some of your cooking skills.
Shelby Salley: sleeeeepy shelbs. i think i met you less than a year ago. but can i just tell you how cool i think you are? a baller mountain woman. let's move to foco in the fall, okay? we'll go get tattoos, too...once you figure out what you want.
Emily Armes: you do what you want without worrying about anyone else's opinion. i love that about you. this summer in charleston, the bike gang, commandeering tall ships, making meals out of seemingly nothing. i'm so thankful to have you in my life. it's so cliche, but you've always been there for me, and i'm deeply grateful.
Jenny Conard: you got engaged last night! okay that's not really a memory...yet. but it will be! hey i'm so glad i've gotten to live with you for the past three years. staying up late and watching friends after everyone else had gone to bed. letting me cry on your shoulder. lifting me up in prayer. a woman after my own heart. a lover of beauty. thanks for introducing me to madeleine. bless you for putting up with my attitude!
Claire Campbell: as i type this, you're cleaning up the living room from jenny's engagement party. what a servant's heart. it's been such a blessing to be able to live with you. three weeks until you're married. i can't wait to see what you and ben do together for the Lord.
Laura Vollmer: it's been so good to become friends with you in the past couple of years. you have such a gentle spirit and i love that about you.
requiem for a dream-like-experience, part I
for the next few posts, i'm going to post some of my favorite memories and favorite things about some of my favorite people in the entire world. i'm going to start with the lever-ten girls and work my way forward chronologically.
to all of you: you made me stay. you all know that i applied for transfer to college of charleston three different times throughout my college career. you are the only reason i'm graduating as a tiger instead of a cougar. i love all of you so, so much.
Katie McWhorter: i remember that first day we moved in to 10A6 you said to your mom "did you see all her harry potter books? i think we're going to get along." and get along we did. most of the time ;). thank you for being a great roommate, even when i wasn't. my favorite memories are of playing that man vs. woman scene-it game, dominating at HP scene-it, and that night when pj and i decided to split an entire bottle of nyquil. thanks for making sure i didn't die. another great moment was when tay and i discovered that you weren't, in fact, getting "chemistry tutoring," but were dating your chemistry tutor! and now you're getting married!
Laura Oglesby: my only management friend! i have loved having classes with you over the years, even if you have a far greater entrepreneurial spirit than i do. i'm so thankful for your take-charge attitude. we'd never have made plans to do fun things if you hadn't been there to make the decision! i can't wait to see what you do with all that talent!
Taylor Davis: tay, words can't express how much i love you. i am so grateful for your loyalty and your love throughout the years. our first bonding moment was crying on each others' shoulders that first day in the lobby of lever when our parents left. then we had to go sit through that alcohol seminar. what a weird time. the summer after sophomore year was one of the best times of college. I loved our QT. and we had a LOT of it!
Meghan Ables: you are one of the strongest women i know. you know what you want and who you love. i admire your willingness to go after those things. i loved our crunchy club times. eating at "stiletto" alllll the time. watching you mix your cereals like a pro. watching you play flag football like a pro in death valley. tailgating with your parents. chatting with you during your breaks at camp. hanging out at the lake. trying to save the float from floating away and jumping on it, just pushing it further out into the lake. in full clothing. in march.
Morgan Padgett: oh, morg. i love you so much. hanging out with you and fondie on valentine's day. watching you eat 302498 boxes of thin mints around your birthday. sitting under your loft and chatting for hours. i'm so excited to see how you influence the lives of so many kids. what a blessing you are!
Kathleen Culhan: francine, when i met you freshman year, i never imagined that we'd end up living together for almost three years! i remember going shopping in anderson alllll the time freshman year. (how did we have money to do that???) i remember sobbing with you all through "ps i love you" and then sobbing the whole way to waffle house. waltzing through the living room in daniel square. playing in the leaves with fondie. sitting with you while you watched josh walk back and forth across the parking lot ;) and look how that turned out!
Larkin Shaw: fondie. fo-fo. lafonda. fonz. fofie. lark. i loooooove you! my anchor. my perpetual "date." my fellow dreamer. an artist after my own heart. i'm so, so, so, SO thankful for you. watching you fall 234983 times a day. listening to the hilarious stories you have about your kiddos. giving you rides all over campus when you tore your acl. sitting on the front porch doing homework/avoiding doing homework. chatting with you about how freaking cool our soulmates are going to be. and how late they are. i'm so excited to watch you live.
so that's all of 'em. next up: the non-lever-ten girls. watch out, chandler, kristan, sarah, caitlin, shelby, emily, jenny, claire, and laura v.
to all of you: you made me stay. you all know that i applied for transfer to college of charleston three different times throughout my college career. you are the only reason i'm graduating as a tiger instead of a cougar. i love all of you so, so much.
Katie McWhorter: i remember that first day we moved in to 10A6 you said to your mom "did you see all her harry potter books? i think we're going to get along." and get along we did. most of the time ;). thank you for being a great roommate, even when i wasn't. my favorite memories are of playing that man vs. woman scene-it game, dominating at HP scene-it, and that night when pj and i decided to split an entire bottle of nyquil. thanks for making sure i didn't die. another great moment was when tay and i discovered that you weren't, in fact, getting "chemistry tutoring," but were dating your chemistry tutor! and now you're getting married!
Laura Oglesby: my only management friend! i have loved having classes with you over the years, even if you have a far greater entrepreneurial spirit than i do. i'm so thankful for your take-charge attitude. we'd never have made plans to do fun things if you hadn't been there to make the decision! i can't wait to see what you do with all that talent!
Taylor Davis: tay, words can't express how much i love you. i am so grateful for your loyalty and your love throughout the years. our first bonding moment was crying on each others' shoulders that first day in the lobby of lever when our parents left. then we had to go sit through that alcohol seminar. what a weird time. the summer after sophomore year was one of the best times of college. I loved our QT. and we had a LOT of it!
Meghan Ables: you are one of the strongest women i know. you know what you want and who you love. i admire your willingness to go after those things. i loved our crunchy club times. eating at "stiletto" alllll the time. watching you mix your cereals like a pro. watching you play flag football like a pro in death valley. tailgating with your parents. chatting with you during your breaks at camp. hanging out at the lake. trying to save the float from floating away and jumping on it, just pushing it further out into the lake. in full clothing. in march.
Morgan Padgett: oh, morg. i love you so much. hanging out with you and fondie on valentine's day. watching you eat 302498 boxes of thin mints around your birthday. sitting under your loft and chatting for hours. i'm so excited to see how you influence the lives of so many kids. what a blessing you are!
Kathleen Culhan: francine, when i met you freshman year, i never imagined that we'd end up living together for almost three years! i remember going shopping in anderson alllll the time freshman year. (how did we have money to do that???) i remember sobbing with you all through "ps i love you" and then sobbing the whole way to waffle house. waltzing through the living room in daniel square. playing in the leaves with fondie. sitting with you while you watched josh walk back and forth across the parking lot ;) and look how that turned out!
Larkin Shaw: fondie. fo-fo. lafonda. fonz. fofie. lark. i loooooove you! my anchor. my perpetual "date." my fellow dreamer. an artist after my own heart. i'm so, so, so, SO thankful for you. watching you fall 234983 times a day. listening to the hilarious stories you have about your kiddos. giving you rides all over campus when you tore your acl. sitting on the front porch doing homework/avoiding doing homework. chatting with you about how freaking cool our soulmates are going to be. and how late they are. i'm so excited to watch you live.
so that's all of 'em. next up: the non-lever-ten girls. watch out, chandler, kristan, sarah, caitlin, shelby, emily, jenny, claire, and laura v.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
shhhhh...don't tell ANYONE...
...but i have a guilty pleasure. i've tried for years to deny myself. when it was mentioned in public, i'd turn my nose up. "why would anyone like that?" i asked.
yes. i'm secretly addicted to....taylor swift's music. i know, i know. it doesn't fit with my alt-y, emo-y, acoustic-y musical style. it doesn't fit with anything i do, really.
but c'mon, now. who doesn't like jamming out to love song? i know i'm not the only one.
but forreal. don't tell a SOUL. i know where you live.
yes. i'm secretly addicted to....taylor swift's music. i know, i know. it doesn't fit with my alt-y, emo-y, acoustic-y musical style. it doesn't fit with anything i do, really.
but c'mon, now. who doesn't like jamming out to love song? i know i'm not the only one.
but forreal. don't tell a SOUL. i know where you live.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
this has been my life for the past two weeks:
zach: welp....that was basically the same thing i had already
haha
worded differently of course
me: whoops. well. great minds think alike?
zach: haha
and by great minds, you mean apathetic, soon-to-be-graduated-over-it-dont-care minds
haha
worded differently of course
me: whoops. well. great minds think alike?
zach: haha
and by great minds, you mean apathetic, soon-to-be-graduated-over-it-dont-care minds
Monday, April 19, 2010
i drink my coffee black
when did we grow up?
yesterday i went to charleston for my seventh-to-twelfth-grade best friend's wedding shower. as we went around the room and introduced ourselves, we said how we met the lovely laura westby. i was reminded of band, seventh grade. the new girl, from north dakota, with her dented saxophone and how when the other kids were making fun of her, i wanted to tell them to stop. but, being in seventh grade and having a totally precarious sense of self-worth, i didn't. yet, somehow, we became friends. an unstoppable duo.
and now she's getting MARRIED! to the most wonderful guy. i'm just giddy when i think of how joyful their life will be.
as i drove away yesterday, my eyes filled with tears. tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of nostalgia. it seems like just yesterday we were getting ready for high school graduation. and now we're real-life adults.
i can't wait to see what life holds for my friends and i.
you know how i tell i'm an adult? a few weeks ago, i started drinking my coffee black.
yesterday i went to charleston for my seventh-to-twelfth-grade best friend's wedding shower. as we went around the room and introduced ourselves, we said how we met the lovely laura westby. i was reminded of band, seventh grade. the new girl, from north dakota, with her dented saxophone and how when the other kids were making fun of her, i wanted to tell them to stop. but, being in seventh grade and having a totally precarious sense of self-worth, i didn't. yet, somehow, we became friends. an unstoppable duo.
and now she's getting MARRIED! to the most wonderful guy. i'm just giddy when i think of how joyful their life will be.
as i drove away yesterday, my eyes filled with tears. tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of nostalgia. it seems like just yesterday we were getting ready for high school graduation. and now we're real-life adults.
i can't wait to see what life holds for my friends and i.
you know how i tell i'm an adult? a few weeks ago, i started drinking my coffee black.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
bursting forth in glorious day
beyond the heaps of concrete, metal:
a spot in the sand.
to wait.
it's cold and the wind
gently blows the top layer of sand
past us.
broken shells tossed and turned
for thousands of years.
is this what i am to You?
i shiver and become restless,
but despite myself,
You come still.
bursting forth in glorious day.
my feeble attempt at poetry from this weekend. sarah and i woke up at 6:30 and walked out to the beach to watch the sun rise. it was freeeeezing, mostly because the wind was blowing like a g. which was whipping the top layer of sand down the beach. and i couldn't help but think of how those miniscule, tumbling, broken shells must remind God of us, being tossed about by every turn of events. but then the Sun burst forth and i was reminded that tumbling is not my destiny.
a spot in the sand.
to wait.
it's cold and the wind
gently blows the top layer of sand
past us.
broken shells tossed and turned
for thousands of years.
is this what i am to You?
i shiver and become restless,
but despite myself,
You come still.
bursting forth in glorious day.
my feeble attempt at poetry from this weekend. sarah and i woke up at 6:30 and walked out to the beach to watch the sun rise. it was freeeeezing, mostly because the wind was blowing like a g. which was whipping the top layer of sand down the beach. and i couldn't help but think of how those miniscule, tumbling, broken shells must remind God of us, being tossed about by every turn of events. but then the Sun burst forth and i was reminded that tumbling is not my destiny.
Friday, April 16, 2010
an addiction to beauty
i'm not actually sure why i started blogging in the first place. certainly not because i expected anyone to read it. but then why not just keep a diary? i think it was the thrill of knowing that, if someone cared enough, they could find me. six-hundred and something page views later, i'm not sure why anyone reads anymore. but i do know that most of what i've been posting on lately has not been beautiful, beneficial, pointing to something greater than myself and my foolish life.
this site was meant to be a portrayal of my soul. when i go back and read some of the things i've said over the past weeks, months, years, i don't like the woman i see. it's not an accurate representation of the person i want to be. so i'm sorry. let me reintroduce myself:
My name is Jordan Elizabeth Scott Treadaway. I was named after my mom's sister Elizabeth Scott White who passed away at 18 and my parents' good friend Steve Jordan. Jordan means "to flow down" and Treadaway is some derivative of "mighty warrior."
I'm addicted to beauty. Sometimes I look out over our back porch and cry because the leaves are so green, and get a high better than any drug when I sit in the amphitheater on campus and look out at the reflection pond and the blooming trees.
I'm very happy just to "be." To sit and drink coffee and listen to a conversation. Most times I'd rather do the listening than the talking.
I'm easily hurt, so I pretend to be a hard-ass. Lots of people don't know this about me.
I get easily depressed by all the bad things I see in the world, and transform into a clam when it gets overwhelming. I turn to books and art to remove me from this world and take me into another, better, simpler, more beautiful one. And suddenly this becomes my reality.
I believe strongly in the power of the Love of God to do battle against terrible things. He's so much stronger than we give Him credit for. And, according to Romans 8:9-11, this power, the power that raised Christ from death, lives within us. I have no problem believing this of others, but I struggle to think that this is true of myself. Increase my faith!
I don't know what I want to do with this life. But I do know that whatever it is should involve breaking the dam of religion and darkness and showing people love, beauty, truth, power, grace.
this is what i want, need to portray here. thank you all so much.
this site was meant to be a portrayal of my soul. when i go back and read some of the things i've said over the past weeks, months, years, i don't like the woman i see. it's not an accurate representation of the person i want to be. so i'm sorry. let me reintroduce myself:
My name is Jordan Elizabeth Scott Treadaway. I was named after my mom's sister Elizabeth Scott White who passed away at 18 and my parents' good friend Steve Jordan. Jordan means "to flow down" and Treadaway is some derivative of "mighty warrior."
I'm addicted to beauty. Sometimes I look out over our back porch and cry because the leaves are so green, and get a high better than any drug when I sit in the amphitheater on campus and look out at the reflection pond and the blooming trees.
I'm very happy just to "be." To sit and drink coffee and listen to a conversation. Most times I'd rather do the listening than the talking.
I'm easily hurt, so I pretend to be a hard-ass. Lots of people don't know this about me.
I get easily depressed by all the bad things I see in the world, and transform into a clam when it gets overwhelming. I turn to books and art to remove me from this world and take me into another, better, simpler, more beautiful one. And suddenly this becomes my reality.
I believe strongly in the power of the Love of God to do battle against terrible things. He's so much stronger than we give Him credit for. And, according to Romans 8:9-11, this power, the power that raised Christ from death, lives within us. I have no problem believing this of others, but I struggle to think that this is true of myself. Increase my faith!
I don't know what I want to do with this life. But I do know that whatever it is should involve breaking the dam of religion and darkness and showing people love, beauty, truth, power, grace.
this is what i want, need to portray here. thank you all so much.
all day, waiting, anticipation, until
finally, a tap on the window.
rife with apologies and excuses
that i eat up without hesitation.
coffee, tea, talk, chat, argue.
of slippery slopes and life after school.
and every time it comes on,
the rattle of the air conditioner startles me.
segmenting the time, counting
until he leaves again.
finally, a tap on the window.
rife with apologies and excuses
that i eat up without hesitation.
coffee, tea, talk, chat, argue.
of slippery slopes and life after school.
and every time it comes on,
the rattle of the air conditioner startles me.
segmenting the time, counting
until he leaves again.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
i'm thinking...
...of getting tatted up. and by "tatted up" i mean i want a very tiny hand-drawn, rough-looking cross in the indention on the diagonal line from my heel to my ankle bone on my left foot. and by that i mean:
any thoughts?
any thoughts?
Monday, April 12, 2010
thinking is my anti-study
six couples within my close group of friends are getting married this summer. i couldn't be happier for all of them.
through their wedding planning, i've learned a lot. and it has gotten me thinking about, if i ever get married, what my wedding will be like. certainly much different than most other ceremonies.
first off, i'm going to send invitations to everyone who might want to come. wedding guest lists should not be the place to exercise a sense of control over others. if someone really wants to come celebrate the love that you and your significant other are professing, then that someone should be there.
also, none of this two months of festivities. one shower. one rehearsal dinner. no bachelorette party. my whole life has been one big bachelorette party. why would i need one more?
food at the wedding? barbecue and coleslaw and sweet tea.
no gifts. make a donation to your favorite charity in our names. consumerism should not play a role in the start of a marriage.
just some thoughts. i'm not criticizing, just commenting on how different my ideal wedding is from the norm.
now i have to begin studying for my exam. that happens to be in nine hours and fifty minutes.
through their wedding planning, i've learned a lot. and it has gotten me thinking about, if i ever get married, what my wedding will be like. certainly much different than most other ceremonies.
first off, i'm going to send invitations to everyone who might want to come. wedding guest lists should not be the place to exercise a sense of control over others. if someone really wants to come celebrate the love that you and your significant other are professing, then that someone should be there.
also, none of this two months of festivities. one shower. one rehearsal dinner. no bachelorette party. my whole life has been one big bachelorette party. why would i need one more?
food at the wedding? barbecue and coleslaw and sweet tea.
no gifts. make a donation to your favorite charity in our names. consumerism should not play a role in the start of a marriage.
just some thoughts. i'm not criticizing, just commenting on how different my ideal wedding is from the norm.
now i have to begin studying for my exam. that happens to be in nine hours and fifty minutes.
long live self-destructive behavior!
i only have three weeks left for this to be (relatively) socially acceptable.
-eating one meal a day because i haven't been to the store in a month.
-drinking an entire case of PBR in a week.
-going downtown on a monday night. when i have a test on tuesday.
-laying in the sun instead of doing homework.
-other things that will not be made public knowledge due to a strict secrecy pact.
i've decided that when i look back on my last month in college, i'll remember these things. and at this point, the worst that could happen is for my GPA to slip a few tenths of a point. right?
-eating one meal a day because i haven't been to the store in a month.
-drinking an entire case of PBR in a week.
-going downtown on a monday night. when i have a test on tuesday.
-laying in the sun instead of doing homework.
-other things that will not be made public knowledge due to a strict secrecy pact.
i've decided that when i look back on my last month in college, i'll remember these things. and at this point, the worst that could happen is for my GPA to slip a few tenths of a point. right?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
i dreamed there was a fountain
there's just something about standing at the bottom of a fifty foot waterfall and looking up into the sun that can't be put into words. photographs can't capture it. i've never even seen a painting that does it justice. the feel of the spray as it cools your body, tired from the scramble over rocks and tree roots. the sound of water hitting rocks that drowns out even your thoughts. the feeling that yes, those falls are huge, but we serve the One who made them.
by popular request (jenn), i'm totally changing subjects and listing my top five places i want to move once i have money saved up. they are, in no particular order:
-jinja, uganda
-sandpoint, idaho
-denver, colorado
-new york, new york
-washington, dc
check out these lyrics by john mark:
I dreamed there was a fountain
I dreamed there was a vein
That overcame the mountain
Like a condescending rain
With love that's bigger than Los Angeles
With a speed that overcame the pain
Of a thousand left hand promises
Made by thieves with their good names
There came a song upon a west wind
That kissed the lips of spoon-fed babes
Though ignorant inside their blessings
But it broke their hearts, and they sang
Come drink this water
Come drink this blood
Come and drink this love that you could not afford
I stood and looked across the waters
Of a great Atlantic sea
I saw my sons I saw my daughters
It's like they had no tears to weep
There came a song upon a west wind
That kissed the lips of spoon-fed babes
Though ignorant inside their blessings
But it broke their hearts, and they sang
Come drink this water
Come drink this blood
Come and drink this love that you could not afford
you can find the song on itunes, and a portion goes back to building wells for people in areas with unsafe drinking water.
by popular request (jenn), i'm totally changing subjects and listing my top five places i want to move once i have money saved up. they are, in no particular order:
-jinja, uganda
-sandpoint, idaho
-denver, colorado
-new york, new york
-washington, dc
check out these lyrics by john mark:
I dreamed there was a fountain
I dreamed there was a vein
That overcame the mountain
Like a condescending rain
With love that's bigger than Los Angeles
With a speed that overcame the pain
Of a thousand left hand promises
Made by thieves with their good names
There came a song upon a west wind
That kissed the lips of spoon-fed babes
Though ignorant inside their blessings
But it broke their hearts, and they sang
Come drink this water
Come drink this blood
Come and drink this love that you could not afford
I stood and looked across the waters
Of a great Atlantic sea
I saw my sons I saw my daughters
It's like they had no tears to weep
There came a song upon a west wind
That kissed the lips of spoon-fed babes
Though ignorant inside their blessings
But it broke their hearts, and they sang
Come drink this water
Come drink this blood
Come and drink this love that you could not afford
you can find the song on itunes, and a portion goes back to building wells for people in areas with unsafe drinking water.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
life: 2.0
new POA for life:
-move home and work at OHH (if they'll have me back) (scratch that, i just got an email from Tracie saying they want me!)
-work until i have saved $10,000 in the bank (plus mutual fund)
-take a couple of weeks off in the middle of summer for a road trip. (Bluffton --> New Orleans to see Katie --> Houston to visit Sarah --> Denver to see Ray and Meghan --> Sandpoint to visit the fam.)
-move somewhere cool
-move home and work at OHH (if they'll have me back) (scratch that, i just got an email from Tracie saying they want me!)
-work until i have saved $10,000 in the bank (plus mutual fund)
-take a couple of weeks off in the middle of summer for a road trip. (Bluffton --> New Orleans to see Katie --> Houston to visit Sarah --> Denver to see Ray and Meghan --> Sandpoint to visit the fam.)
-move somewhere cool
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
i don't pretend to know the psychology of it. all i know is that when boys are five years old, they'll tell you anything. and not just because they know you want to hear it. they actually mean it.
dinner at chick-fil-a tonight turned into a one-sided flirt-fest from a small child to me. we sat outside next to the window to the play area. as i sat down, i glanced behind me and saw a chubby caramel-colored face staring at me through the glass. i waved and thought that would scare him off. after a few fries, i heard a banging on the window. as i turned around, i caught a glimpse of a round face ducking out of view.
this continued. for about twenty minutes. he got his friend involved. they took turns standing on each others' backs to try to get higher in the window. they fought for time behind the glass. after i started ignoring the knocks on the window, i turned to my right when i heard a yell from the exterior door of the restaurant. he had come outside to find me. i gave him a "you-need-to-go-inside-right-now-or-you're-in-trouble" look. a few moments later he was back behind the window.
no insecurity. no fear that if i didn't reciprocate, his life would be O-V-E-R.
larkin's students tell her every day that she is pretty and smart and nice and why doesn't she have a boyfriend and when is she getting married and on and on and on. at what age does this become "creepy" and no longer sweet? just a thought.
in other news, jenny just exclaimed "SCRABBLE IS ALLOWING PROPER NOUNS?!?!? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???" a woman after my own heart.
dinner at chick-fil-a tonight turned into a one-sided flirt-fest from a small child to me. we sat outside next to the window to the play area. as i sat down, i glanced behind me and saw a chubby caramel-colored face staring at me through the glass. i waved and thought that would scare him off. after a few fries, i heard a banging on the window. as i turned around, i caught a glimpse of a round face ducking out of view.
this continued. for about twenty minutes. he got his friend involved. they took turns standing on each others' backs to try to get higher in the window. they fought for time behind the glass. after i started ignoring the knocks on the window, i turned to my right when i heard a yell from the exterior door of the restaurant. he had come outside to find me. i gave him a "you-need-to-go-inside-right-now-or-you're-in-trouble" look. a few moments later he was back behind the window.
no insecurity. no fear that if i didn't reciprocate, his life would be O-V-E-R.
larkin's students tell her every day that she is pretty and smart and nice and why doesn't she have a boyfriend and when is she getting married and on and on and on. at what age does this become "creepy" and no longer sweet? just a thought.
in other news, jenny just exclaimed "SCRABBLE IS ALLOWING PROPER NOUNS?!?!? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???" a woman after my own heart.
Monday, April 5, 2010
it comes back to me every now and then. the memory of carefully choosing the book that would be mine for the next two weeks. quietly stepping toward the counter with my treasure in hand. pushing the book up on to the counter and into the hands of the tiny, aged woman behind the counter.
she touches her pointer finger and thumb to her tongue and reaches into the box to her left for the due date card. she changes the date on the stamp if i'm the first customer, and presses it to the black ink pad and then to the index card. she opens the book to the back cover and slides the card into its pocket. as she does, the plastic dust jacket cover makes a noise that gives me chills to this day.
the crinkle of the plastic combined with the creak of the binding combined with the smell of old books. i close my eyes and i'm back in downtown bluffton in a tabby-sided building in the heat of summer, ready to go home and get lost in whatever faraway land i chose.
she touches her pointer finger and thumb to her tongue and reaches into the box to her left for the due date card. she changes the date on the stamp if i'm the first customer, and presses it to the black ink pad and then to the index card. she opens the book to the back cover and slides the card into its pocket. as she does, the plastic dust jacket cover makes a noise that gives me chills to this day.
the crinkle of the plastic combined with the creak of the binding combined with the smell of old books. i close my eyes and i'm back in downtown bluffton in a tabby-sided building in the heat of summer, ready to go home and get lost in whatever faraway land i chose.
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